16th December 2001 is a milestone as far as the new move I decided to undertake. On that day that I was invited by a representative from Spoornet to work with her through their “race against AIDS’ campaign. It was the first time I was offered to work as an ambassador and I must tell you that it was really a great privilege. I wanted for a long time to have the opportunity to go out and share my positive living experience with other people. The day was also quite a day for Rudzani.
Rudzani Sigama is a young woman from Mhinga village and she was a first-born in a family of six where mother is a domestic worker and father a builder. Despite their financial problems, Rudzani’s parents always tried their level best to help her finish her studies so that she can be able to take care of her three younger sisters and two brothers.
“After all the efforts they made, how could she be so irresponsible”? This is what she has been wondering all the time, after learning about her HIV positive results from her local hospital, Rudzani spent all the thinking about how irresponsible she is, putting the blame on herself and seeing herself dead already. She felt that there was no reason to live.
After learning about my own public disclosure on December 16th, Rudzani looked like she had something serious to share. I just felt responsible to make her utter whatever she was bottling. I approached her and started a conversation with her to make it easy for her to say whatever might have been there. Her eyes were full of tears when she told me how happy she was to see a young person with HIV living so positively. Her face also showed a little bit of relief when I sat down with her and showed her the facts about being HIV positive and explaining my source of strength and courage.
Thereafter, Rudzani was ready to tell me her story so we arranged time to meet. Sharing her story by phone she said that she thought life had no more meaning when “a person has AIDS” but now she feels the strength to try again and see if she cannot be like me. I suggested that she should come to provincial capital for a thorough counselling. Though I thought I wasn’t that good, the counselling helped her so much that even today she can’t stop calling and telling me how much she appreciates the opportunity that has changed her life dramatically. After the counselling, she is a volunteer AIDS counsellor in the local clinic nearby her place. Now she is living happily positive and values her life even better than before. Rudzani, having realized how important she has become to other people’s lives, is now working as a counsellor and AIDS ambassador in her village and hosting a support group in her parent’s house. Her parents, as well, have learnt to live with the fact that she is HIV positive and have also learnt to love and support their daughter despite her health status.
Personally, I always imagined the joy that I would feel if one day, somebody could be so inspired by me. Before I was diagnosed positive, I used to think that there is no way that I can ever live with the fact that “I have AIDS” and thought that I would die the moment I was told. But after my diagnosis everything was just so different. I wanted to go all out - felt stronger and show people the truth. I always wanted to erase the wrong perception and stigmatisation about HIV and AIDS. I am never selfish about sharing this with other people because I never blamed myself or anyone else. I just understood that I am a victim and that there is a need for me to use my experience to save others from being attacked by this dreadful situation.
Since joining ELCSA-DS I look around and go out reaching the needy peers and other people. Indeed, with all its challenges, touching their lives by educating them and showing them the truth behind AIDS is a worthy experience. I feel that I am making a difference to so many people and it makes me a happy person at all times. There is no other thing that makes me feel valuable than the fulfilment that I feel by saving other people’s lives.
Compiled by Tebago Leso
ELCSA-DS HIV-AIDS Programme Facilitator in Northern Region
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